Marriage and Wisdom

 

Marriage is perhaps one of the best indicators of our smartness and an extractor of the real person within us. Solomon was the wisest man in his time. This was until his choice of marital alliance and the steps he took afterwards proved him otherwise.

-Babatunde Oladele

Rudy's Angel

I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested in buying groceries. I wasn’t hungry. The pain of losing my husband of 37 years was still too raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories.

Rudy often came with me and almost every time he’d pretend to go off and look for something special. I knew what he was up to. I’d always spot him walking down the aisle with the three yellow roses in his hands.

Rudy knew I loved yellow roses. With a heart filled with grief, I only wanted to buy my few items and leave, but even grocery shopping was different since Rudy had passed on.

Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it had for two. Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small steak and remembered how Rudy had loved his steak.

Suddenly a woman came beside me. She was blond, slim and lovely in a soft green pantsuit. I watched as she picked up a large pack of T-bones, dropped them in her basket, hesitated, and then put them back. She turned to go and once again reached for the pack of steaks. She saw me watching her and she smiled. “My husband loves T-bones, but honestly, at these prices, I don’t know.”

I swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her pale blue eyes. “My husband passed away eight days ago,” I told her. Glancing at the package in her hands, I fought to control the tremble in my voice. “Buy him the steaks. And cherish every moment you have together.”

She shook her head and I saw the emotion in her eyes as she placed the package in her basket and wheeled away.

I turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store to the dairy products. There I stood, trying to decide which size milk I should buy. A quart, I finally decided and moved on to the ice cream section near the front of the store. If nothing else, I could always fix myself an ice cream cone. I placed the ice cream in my cart and looked down the aisle toward the front.

I saw first the green suit, then recognized the pretty lady coming towards me. In her arms she carried a package. On her face was the brightest smile I had ever seen. I would swear a soft halo encircled her blond hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding mine. As she came closer, I saw what she held and tears began misting in my eyes. “These are for you,” she said and placed three beautiful long stemmed yellow roses in my arms. “When you go through the line, they will know these are paid for.” She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek, then smiled again.

I wanted to tell her what she’d done, what the roses meant, but still unable to speak, I watched as she walked away as tears clouded my vision. I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green tissue wrapping and found it almost unreal. How did she know?

Suddenly the answer seemed so clear. I wasn’t alone. “Oh, Rudy, you haven’t forgotten me, have you?” I whispered, with tears in my eyes. He was still with me, and she was his angel.

Everyday be thankful for what you have and who you are.

— Author Unknown

Meditation: But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. – 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

You will succeed in Jesus Name!

Sense of Relevance

If you derive your sense of relevance or feeling of self-worth/importance from who you know, who you are close to, or who you work with, if you fall out of favour with such person or s/he ceases to occupy the position of honour that pulls you up in tow; or, worse still, the person dies, you may have a difficult time convincing yourself thereafter how important you are in the absence of your “crutch.”

Racing Down The River

Someone once said, “True freedom is not a question of doing as we like, but doing as we ought.”

Clovis Chappell, a nineteenth-century minister, used to tell an interesting story about two paddleboats. The two boats, powered by coal, left Memphis about the same time, traveling down the Mississippi River to New Orleans. As they travelled side-by-side, sailors from one vessel made some critical remarks and jokes about the snail’s pace of the other boat.

Heated words were exchanged between the men on the two boats. Challenges were made. So the race began. The competition was hot and heavy as the two boats roared through the Deep South.

Eventually, one boat began falling behind. The problem: it didn’t have enough fuel. There had been plenty of coal for the trip, but not enough for a race.

As the boat dropped back, an enterprising young sailor took some of the ship’s cargo and tossed it into the boat’s ovens. When his fellow sailors saw that the supplies burned as well as coal, they fuelled their boat with the material they had been assigned to transport.

Guess what? They ended up winning the race. But they burned their cargo.

How does this apply to our lives?

The men on the winning boat did what they liked, which was winning the race. But the price for that victory was expensive. The boat’s cargo, the very reason they were traveling down the river in the first place, was sacrificed. So they failed to do what they ought to have done, which was to safely transport their cargo.

You may not have thought about it, but God has entrusted each of us with cargo. Our cargo is other people, such as friends and family, and the ability He has given us to help someone else. We are responsible for this cargo, and ought to cherish it in our journey through life.

However, like the men on the winning boat, often we fail in that responsibility. As Billy Graham says, “We hurt people by being too busy. Too busy to notice their needs. Too busy to drop that note of comfort or encouragement or assurance of love. Too busy to listen when someone needs to talk. Too busy to care.”

Are you too busy to care? When opportunities occur to help others, do you take advantage of those opportunities? Or do you burn your cargo as you busily do what you like?

Be diligent, and do what you ought to do. Slow down for the needs of your family and friends. Seize opportunities to help people when it is within your power to do so.

Finally, remember one other cargo God has entrusted to you. It is the Good News of Jesus Christ. Diligently share that Good News with others, and help people who are using their gifts for Christ reach even more people. Your diligence with the cargo God has given you will be very rewarding.

By Rich McLawhorn

Meditation: And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” – Luke 10:41-42

You will succeed in Jesus Name!

The Significant Others

Most of human failures are catalysed by the failings of the significant others. If you observe that someone is drifting away from the ideal, then it is time to intensify your compassion rather than resort to criticism. People struggling need out friendship, not, not alienation; they need engagement, not isolation.

-Babatunde Oladele

Batting My Eyelashes At You

A baby camel asked his mother, “Why do we have such large hoofs on our feet?”

She turned to him. “God made us that way for a very special reason,” and she began her explanation. “The big hoofs are to keep us from sinking into the sand.”

“Oh! So why do we have long eyelashes?”

“It’s to protect our eyes from the sand.”

“Why the big humps?”

“That is to store fat and have enough energy to go long distances in the hot desert!”

“I see!” the baby camel stretched his neck and looked up at his mother, “The big hoofs are to keep from sinking into the sand, the long eyelashes are to keep the sand out of our eyes, and the humps are to store energy to travel long distances. Then what are we doing in this cage in the middle of a zoo?”

Like the camel, I had asked the same kind of questions. When my blindness set in, I initially locked myself in a cage of self-pity and bitterness.

Weary from pacing within that gloomy cage, something nudged me to see beyond my circumstance and unfortunate plight.

Heavens! What was I thinking? Those bars were self-imposed. But worst of all, I’d supported them with the cold metal of my negative attitude.

Eventually, eagerness to leave my stuffy cell of discontent prompted me to open my ears to hear a reassuring whisper–God had created me for much more.

Itching to break free, I broke down those bars and stepped out into the desert of life. I trudged through the heat with determination and drive. I endured the blistering sun with perseverance and tenacity. I quenched my thirst with fresh inspiration and encouragement. And the hooves of confidence kept me from sinking into the sand of insecurity.

Thinking ahead, I made sure I’d stored a healthy supply of wisdom and positive attitude to take me through the long haul.

Goodness, gracious. Each time I reached another point in my journey, my eyes saw a whole new world with opportunities to make a difference. Best of all, I was delighted with the affirmation that I was indeed created for much more!

Bars come in all sizes and shapes. Some are physical; others are emotional or even mental. But none can withstand the force of determination that breaks them down. The effort is worth it and the results, simply amazing!

So, batting my long eyelashes to keep out the sand of discouragement, I challenge you: Step back and peek at what bars limit you. Take a deep breath, break them down, and emerge into the freshness of a new life.

By Janet Perez Eckles

Meditation: And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

You will succeed in Jesus Name!

Standing Firm

You see it all the time. People achieve success, and then their personal lives seem to fall apart. As someone once said, success has made failures of many men. But does that have to happen?

The September 1996 issue of Standing Firm magazine contains a great story about Bobby Bowden. Bowden is head football coach for Florida State University. His team’s winning record places him near the top in wins among active coaches at the Division I level. Bowden’s record of successes in bowl games is the highest winning percentage in NCAA history. So he is successful in his chosen career. Whether you are a fan of F.S.U. or not, you have to admit that Bowden is a successful coach.

But there is more to Bowden than the statistics you read in the sports pages. He is a man of faith and makes no apologies for that. During his team’s Friday evening meetings before their Saturday games, Bowden uses valuable time for team devotionals, which he leads. As for his ongoing leadership of the team’s staff, each day he meets with his staff for devotions and prayer prior to their regular staff meetings.

Each year, Bowden takes his entire team to a predominantly black church for worship. The following Sunday, he takes the team to a predominantly white church. There is no deception involved–he writes a letter to each athlete’s parents or guardian to tell them about the church visits and obtain their approval. “I’m trying to show these kids that they are accepted in church whether they are white or black,” Bowden said.

So what is the point of this and the many other ways Bowden walks his walk of faith? Bowden says, “I want to show these kids that you can be a Christian, you can be a God-fearing man, you can abide by the rules, and you can still be successful.”

How Does This Apply to Our Lives?

A number of social commentators have asked the questions, “Where are our heroes?” and “Where are the role models for today’s youth?” That is because we constantly read about people who were considered heroes, but turned out to be villains who compromised their values and broke the rules.

Is it necessary to compromise your values to make it in life? Bowden’s story shows that it is not. No, Bowden is not perfect. But there is a core to his life. Bowden stands firm in his beliefs–and is successful. What is the difference between the Bobby Bowdens of the world, and others? Simply put, some people are like onions. They have no core, just layers. And when you peel away all the layers, nothing is left. Don’t glorify the “onions” of the world. Instead, lift up people like Bowden–men and women with a core to their lives, who exhibit integrity and faith. Help them touch others. Encourage them. Pray for them.

Finally, build and strengthen your own core. Start by placing your trust and confidence totally in God. Trusting in God does not guarantee you worldly success or great riches, but the Bible teaches that something far more important will result, blessings from God.

By Rich McLawhorn

Meditation: “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” – Job 17:9

You will succeed in Jesus Name!