Four Lessons

By Charmaine R. Velasco

When I became pregnant with our first child in 2002, my husband and I were inundated with advice and old wives tales. I recall my aunts saying, “You can tell whether you’re having a girl if you’re carrying high.” Or was it “low?” We had a boy. Two of them. One is now six years old and the other is four.

Then I read an article somewhere claiming, “Don’t lift your arms up too high, or you might overstretch the umbilical cord and choke the baby.” I practiced prenatal yoga stretching. The downward facing dog did wonders for my aching sides. Also, I am happy to tell you that both of my boys did not choke from the umbilical cord in vitro. They did have the occasional hiccups, however.

Advice was taken with grace, some with gritted teeth and some with genuine gratitude. What no one shared with us during my time of prenatal bliss were the post-partum events, which I was not prepared for. These occurrences span from the newborn phase through Kindergarten. I’ll just share with you my top four lessons in the school of parenting.

Lesson one, I was clueless as to how much discomfort was involved, down there. Note that this is after giving birth. I naively thought that the birthing process alone was the most painful part. The swelling and soreness after the baby was born were highly unexpected. Let’s just say that ice packs and an inflatable doughnut were my best friends forever, well, at least for a week or so.

Lesson two, the popular nursery rhyme along the lines of, “Snips of snails and puppy dog’s tails, that’s what little boys are made of” is a slanderous lie. Most of the little boys I have come across are sweet and sensitive children, including my own. They actually cry more than my two-year-old niece when injured. My niece just gets right back to playing without so much as a whimper. Meanwhile, our boys are milking the soothing process for as long as possible, just so they can get unlimited hugs from Mama. Also, if you’ve ever seen my sisters and me fighting as kids, the “sugar and spice and all things nice” phrase was not the most accurate description of us.

Lesson three, Cain and Abel suffered sibling rivalry before the birth of Christ. I highly doubt that this biblical archetype of brotherhood dispute will go away anytime in the near future. When my two sons fight, luckily, they don’t hit each other. Instead, they are the tattletale cops for everything that the other one does. The younger one is the Chief of Police in this department. Now I know why my mother would get so upset after walking into one of our childhood war zones. You get protective of each child when one hurts the other. Being a referee in this sport is like being a criminal judge for both parties.

Lesson four, the bittersweetness we experienced when our firstborn sauntered through Kindergarten was met with confidence, yet trepidation. Our son matured from a tender preschooler to an official big boy with big boy buddies who love Star Wars. The connection with father and son changed too. Our Kindergartner went from kisses to high fives at morning drop off. Then the emotional pull from each song recital was enough to make me long for those zombie-like nights of nursing at a fuzzy three o’clock in the morning.

As our boys grow older, I am aware that there will be more lessons to learn from. These four are just the beginning of a series of triumphs and challenges. I am quite sure that there will be more suggestions, solicited or unsolicited. In the meantime, I will continue to cry at school concerts and at each time an entire book is read without too much help from Mama and Papa.

Meditation: Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6

You will succeed because Jesus loves You!

Communication Barrier

Author Unknown

A Professor was teaching from Proverbs 15:1. He asked his students, ‘Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?’

The students thought for a while. One said, ‘because we lose our calm.’

‘But why shout when the other person is just next to you?’ Asked the professor. ‘Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you are angry?’

The students gave various answers, but none satisfied the Professor.

Finally, he explained, ‘When two people are angry at each other, there is a distance in their hearts psychologically. To cover the distance, they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will shout to hear each other through that great distance.’

Then the Professor asked, ‘What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly. Why? Because their hearts are psychologically close. The distance between them is very close.’

The Professor continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They don’t speak, only whisper and they even get closer to each other in their love. Finally, they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all.’

So next time you shout on a loved one, know that you are creating distance between your heart and that person’s heart.

Meditation: A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:1

You will succeed in Jesus Name!

Time to Let Go

– Author Unknown

Once upon a time, a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they would be asked the typical “glass half empty or glass half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds.

She replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”

As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, “Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses and worries. No matter what happens during the day, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the night and into the next day with you. If you still feel the weight of yesterday’s stress, it’s a strong sign that it’s time to put the glass down.

Meditation: Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? – Matthew 6:27

You will succeed in Jesus Name!

Letter in the Night

One day a woman named Louise fell asleep and had a very fitful dream. She dreamed that someone in Hell wrote a letter to her, and it was to be delivered to her by a messenger. The messenger passed between the lakes of burning fire and brimstone before he could make it to the door that would lead him to the outside world.

Louise dreamed that the messenger walked to her house, came inside, and gently but firmly woke her. He gave her the message, saying only that a friend had written it to her from Hell.

Louise, in her dream with trembling hands, took the letter and read:

My Friend,

I stand in Judgment now and feel that you’re to blame somehow. Never did you point the way. You knew the Lord in truth and glory, But never did you tell the story. My knowledge then was very dim; You could have led me safely to Him. Though we lived together on the earth, You never told me of the second birth, And now I stand this day condemned because you failed to mention Him.

You taught me many things, that’s true. I called you “friend” and trusted you, But I learn now that it’s too late, You could have kept me from this fate. We walked by day and talked by night, And yet you showed me not the Light. You let me live, and love, and die, You knew I’d never live on high. Yes, I called you “friend” in life, And trusted you through joy and strife. And yet on coming to the end, I cannot, now, call you “My Friend.”

Marsha

After reading the letter, Louise awoke. The dream was so real in her mind and sweat dropped in pools from her body. She swore she could still smell the acrid smell of brimstone and smoke from her room.

As she contemplated the meaning of her dream, she realized that as a Christian, she had failed in her duty to “go out to all the world and preach the gospel.” As she thought of that, she promised herself that the next day, she would call Marsha and invite her to church with her.

The next morning she called Marsha, and this was the conversation:

“Hello Bill, is Marsha there?”

“Louise, you don’t know?”

“No, Bill, know what?”

“Marsha was killed last night in a car accident. I thought you knew.”

Fellow Christian, is this your testimony? Are you witnessing to your relatives and friends who you are with everyday? Or will there be relatives friends of yours in Hell, asking you why you did not tell them about Jesus?

As your friend, if you don’t know Jesus, here’s how to be connected to Him: If you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross for your sins and God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9 – 10)

If you have not done so, simply pray this prayer:

“Dear God, I confess with my mouth and believe in my heart that Jesus is your Son and that He died on the cross for my sins. Jesus, forgive me of all my sins, come into my heart and become my Lord and Savior. And help, from this day onward, to live a life that is pleasing to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

You shouldn’t keep Jesus to yourself, you’ve got to tell somebody about Him and the love of God!

– Author Unknown 

Meditation: “For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him the Son of Man also will be ashamed when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.” – Mark 8:38

You will succeed in Jesus Name!

How to Fix Your Life

Author Unknown

 A pastor was struggling to prepare his sermon and didn’t want to be disturbed by his five- year-old daughter, so he removed a map of the world from his study, tore it into pieces and gave it to the girl to assemble with the promise that he would answer all her questions and play with her when she was done.

He knew she would never be able to fix it.

To his amazement, in less than five minutes she returned to him in his study with the map in perfect shape, every continent and every country in its place!

The surprised father asked, ”Honey, you don’t know anything about geography, so how did you fix the world so easily and quickly?”

The five-year-old girl smiled sweetly and replied, ”The picture of Jesus was at the back of the map. And I knew that if I have Jesus in the right place, the whole world would be in perfect shape.”

That was just the right inspiration the pastor needed for his sermon.

He thanked his daughter and prepared a powerful sermon on the subject – ‘Fix your world by placing Jesus at the right place’.

Just place Jesus in his rightful place and your life will be in order. Do you really understand this?

Spread it to the world, let them know that their world cannot be fixed without Jesus. We all need Jesus!

You’ve been given this as a gift…pay it forward!

Meditation: “And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself.” – John 12:32

You will succeed in Jesus Name!

The Reason You are Going Through Times

Author Unknown

There was a group of women in a Bible Study on the book of Malachi. As they were studying chapter three, they came across verse three, which says: “He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.” This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of them offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That week, this woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot. Then she thought again about the verse that says, “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.”

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?”

He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy – when I see my image in it.”

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Meditation: My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. – James 1:2-4

You will succeed in Jesus Name!

The Tablecloth

The new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc., and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

On December 19 a terrible tempest – a driving rainstorm – hit the area and lasted for two days.

On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.

The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity, so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later.

She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet. “Pastor,” she asked, “where did you get that tablecloth?”

The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials ‘EBG’ were crocheted into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria.

The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. He was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth, but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home. That was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.

One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood, continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn’t leaving.

The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike?

He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home again in all the 35 years between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier.

He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman’s apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

• Author Unknown

Meditation: Cast your bread upon the waters, For you will find it after many days. Give a serving to seven, and also to eight, For you do not know what evil will be on the earth. – Ecclesiastes 11:1-2

You will succeed in Jesus’ Name!